capricornbookworm (
capricornbookworm) wrote2017-11-04 07:58 pm
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FIC: When The Stars Go Blue [Teddy Lupin/James Sirius, NC-17]
It's been a LONG while, but I just posted some new fics over on my AO3! I'd love if anyone wanted to check them out. Wishing you all the best <3 I miss you guys, but my Master's program is keeping me crazy busy.
“Where do you go when you’re lonely, where do you go when you’re blue? Where do you go when you’re lonely, I’ll follow you…. When the stars go blue”
****
Five calloused fingertips curl softly over his wrist, and his hair suddenly turns a vibrant shade of royal blue.
Teddy is sitting at the dinner table. It’s Sunday evening and the whole clan is here. Harry at the head of the table, laughing with Ron about some ridiculous inside joke. Hermione looks on at them fondly, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips as she brushes a wispy curl out of her eyes. Her hair is tied back in a bun, but her unruly curls always have a mind of their own, never quite seeming to be tamed.
Teddy’s hair has a mind of it’s own too.Though he can change his appearance with ease, and morph into whatever he wants, his emotions have ultimate reign. Turquoise is his standard. A light green-tinged blue, like sea foam. It flashes magenta when he orgasms. Violet when he’s sated and sleepy. When he’s concentrating too hard, it turns black as night and it grows longer. When working through a file, he has to tie it back in a ponytail, else it falls in his face.
Royal blue. This one is new.
There is a thumb caressing the inside of his thin wrist. It’s tracing a vein, a vein that must lead straight to his heart. His heart his thundering in his chest. He glances around the table, but everyone seems too preoccupied to notice the crisis Teddy is suddenly having. He swears if anyone were to turn and look at him they would see sparks shooting off of him. Small blips of electricity being gently pulled from his body by a hand hidden under the table. There is a storm brewing inside of him and it is muffling out the sounds of laughter and forks clinking. All he can hear is his own breath, stuttering over his lips. He is shaking.
Teddy has been in love with James for as long as he can remember. James is everything he could ever want and nothing he should ever have. They are family. They are practically brothers. Teddy also happens to be 26. James is just barely 18.
Teddy’s eyes dart around the table. Rose and Lily are arguing, as per usual. Those two were destined to be friends, but they are actually too similar for their own good. Everything turns into a competition. They are the daughters of two strong, intelligent women. They each feel that they have a reputation to uphold, and neither is willing to fold. Hugo’s seat is empty, as he’s too busy cooking with Molly to actually interact with anyone. He’s her favorite and everyone knows it. He’s rather anti-social, but he doesn’t seem to care.
Though Harry and Ginny are no longer together, they are still great friends. Ginny seemed to know that things were not going to work out far before Harry even did. She practically broke it off for him. She’s smart, that one. Feisty too. Came out as bisexual back when the war ended. She’s been dating women ever since her and Harry ended things. They both seem happier now. Plus, for being savior of the world and all, Harry can be a real coward. It took the git like 6 months to look at Malfoy without turning a horrible shade of red. It took him a year to actually flirt with him. They’re together now, but Harry thinks no one knows about it.
Ginny is chatting with Albus and Luna. Generally Albus is quiet, moody, brooding, and chock full of teen angst. Yet, Luna seems to bring out something different in him. They are an odd contrast, the two of them. Albus with his jet black hair, always in a permanent state of bedhead. He has an earring. Just one. It’s a small dragon’s tooth. A gift from Charlie. His skin is tanned, much more than any of the other Potters. He wears black and gray. His only pop of color is the green of his Slytherin tie when he’s at Hogwarts. His eyes are a shocking shade of emerald to match. The contrast of the green against the rest of his darkness is quite striking.
Today Albus is wearing a black t-shirt, the neck is a “v” just deep enough to show a hint of the tattoo he has on his chest. Charlie took him to get it as a birthday present. Ginny laughed maniacally when she found out, reminding Harry of the time when people had spread a rumor about his very own dragon tattoo back in 6th year. Harry eventually came around. Though Ginny still loves to smack Charlie and lecture him about it whenever he’s comes for a visit. Albus wants to work with dragons, just like Charlie. Although Teddy has witnessed the special bond Albus seems to have with those creatures, Teddy is also aware that this bond is not the only motive at play here. He can read between the lines, even if others cannot.
Luna smiles and laughs at something Albus says. Her cactus plant earrings sway as she throws her head back. Ginny reaches forward to push Luna’s glasses gently back onto her face where they had fallen forward. Luna turns and kisses Ginny on the tip of her nose, causing a deep blush to spread quickly over Ginny’s heavily freckled skin. Albus actually smiles. A rare sight to see.
Teddy’s vision goes blurry as the thumb around his wrist presses more firmly into his skin. It drags down from the point where his palm connects to his arm….. down, down, down until the rough fingertip is running over a scar on his forearm. Heat flares in the pit of his stomach as the fingertip tilts upwards, the edge of a fingernail slowly following the length of his scar with perfect precision. His skin has broken out into goosebumps, a thin sheen of sweat is covering his upper lip, and his eyes flutter shut.
In an instant the fingers curl entirely around his forearm, dragging toward his wrist and squeezing once before the touch disappears altogether. Teddy’s eyes fly open, blinking quickly as they adjust once more to the warm candlelight in the dining room of the Burrow.
He hears the sound of a chair being pushed backwards, and hears a voice tell the room, “I’m feeling a little light-headed, I am going to go get some fresh air.” Teddy sees the room sort of nod, several people murmur, “Okay,” but generally no one is paying much attention.
Teddy feels unable to breathe, both hands under the table now and clutching the seat for dear life, holding onto it like a lifeline. He slowly turns his head and watches as James walks toward the back door, which is propped open with a small flower pot. As Teddy stares, James turns around, eyes full of fire as he walks backwards out the door and into the moonlit night.
Teddy takes a steadying breath, counts to 10, and then gets shakily to his feet. He stutters out something about, “Need to use the loo,” and exits the room. Luna is the only one who notices, and her eyes do not miss the electric blue hair that Teddy is now sporting. She smiles as Teddy walks away, but says nothing.
Teddy’s brain is too foggy to realize that he didn’t even try to hide where he was actually going. Rather than carry him to the staircase and towards the bathroom, his feet are making their way in the exact opposite direction, following the same path James took just moments ago. As Teddy approaches the doorway, the night sky comes into view. The moon is bright and nearly full, and the stars are twinkling at him. His bare feet step out onto the cold, plush grass outside. Teddy turns and sees him leaning with his back against the side of the house. Teddy stops breathing.
James looks beautiful. He is long lines and lean muscle. His arms are crossed over his chest in a way that makes him look even more fit than he already is. He is effortless. He is a white t-shirt and jeans that hang low on his hips. His eyelashes are long and resting delicately on his face, where his eyes are shut. His head is tilted back, his throat exposed. His skin is lighter than his brothers, but more freckled. He has moles and freckles scattered like confetti over his cheeks, his neck, and spilling under his shirt. He is so different than Albus. Where Albus is harsh lines and darkness, James is softened edges and warmth.
Teddy walks toward him as if he is in a trance. The want he feels is dizzying. He’s grown hard just from watching James. James does not open his eyes until Teddy is standing right in front of him. Though Teddy is taller, older…. He feels small and secure when he is around James in a way that he cannot put into words. James looks up, and his usually hazel eyes are darkened with what looks like lust. It takes Teddy’s breath away. This feels like a dream, and he hopes that he never wakes up.
Without words, something unspoken passes between them. Suddenly Teddy seems to realize that he is not the only one who’s been wanting this for years. Teddy swallows hard around the lump in his throat, wets his chapped lips, and drops slowly to his knees. Teddy feels naked and exposed, although he is fully dressed save for his bare feet. As his knees touch down into the grass below him, he suddenly cannot bring himself to look up. He keeps his eyes trained on James’ own feet, which are covered in shoes. Without a reason that Teddy could ever express, his vision is blurring with tears.
The same rough fingertips which had encircled his wrist like a ring of fire are gently lifting his trembling chin now, forcing Teddy’s face up towards James.
“Teddy…. Look at me.”
Teddy’s blue eyes meet the hazel ones above him, and suddenly the tears stop. “J-James….” Teddy croaks out, his voice broken and small.
“It’s okay, Teddy. It’s okay.”
These words circle Teddy in a hug, soothing every doubt, every worry bubbling up to the surface. He feels calm and safe kneeling in the grass in front of James. Every drag of James’s fingertip back and forth over the skin of his cheek feels like a repetition of the phrase he’s been needing to hear for years, “It’s okay...It’s okay.”
Teddy finally feels like he can breathe and a single tear escapes his eyes as he looks up at James. James catches the tear on his fingertip and swipes it off Teddy’s cheek, wiping away much of the guilt and uncertainty with it. James’s hands fall from Teddy’s face as Teddy sits up a little taller. He looks up into those dark eyes one final time, before reaching out for the button on James’s jeans. As he pops it open and pulls the zipper down, those usually quiet sounds echo loudly in both of their ears. The quiet evening broken by the sound of Teddy pulling down a pair of trousers, exposing James to the cool night air.
Teddy takes James carefully into his mouth, and suddenly James’s lips part in a soft “o,” his breath hitching and his fingertips fluttering where they rest at his sides. Teddy bobs his head, his tongue dancing around James’s cock and sending licks of fire up James’s spine. James is making soft sounds, sounding like he has run out of air as Teddy’s warm mouth envelops James in a velvety heat. Teddy feels drunk on James, on this moment. Although Teddy is not the one being pleasured, he is seeing stars. The stars are royal blue.
Teddy can hear the breathing above him becoming more ragged, can see the stomach muscles tensing where the soft white t-shirt has ridden up. He pulls off with a small pop, and glances around. He takes in the hands clenched into fists, the flushed cheeks, and the hair slightly tousled from the way that James has been arching his back against the wall. Teddy looks up and everything about this moment feels so right.
Teddy closes his eyes, trying desperately to savour the sensations. He focuses on the way his knees in the grass make him feel so grounded and yet so light like he’s floating without a worry to hold him down, the way the cool breeze caressing the bare skin of his feet and arms feels like a promise of more to come, the way James feels in his mouth, the way his heart swells just knowing that he is making James feel good, that sensation deep in the pit of his stomach like a rope being pulled when Teddy realizes that for once, he is not disappointing someone.
As Teddy is slipping away, drowning in the crashing waves of emotion and pleasure, James is right there, grounding him once more. He hears a whisper from above him as hands reach out to card through his hair, “You’re so good, Teddy. So good for me.”
Teddy keens. Those simple words unlocking corridors to places he never knew existed. He didn’t realize that something was missing until now. As the hands continue to run lovingly through his hair, Teddy opens his heavy eyelids and lets his eyes trail over James’ face. He doesn’t know how James knows that this is what he needs. Teddy’s lips part, so many words caught in his throat: thank you’s, apologies, sonnets. The words will not come. Teddy looks up, his eyes imploring James to understand, before he leans forward and gently kisses the head of James’s hard cock.
James comes in an instant. As his head is thrown back, he misses the flash of magenta in front of him. James sighs and drops softly to his own knees, staring at the come decorating Teddy’s face. Teddy’s tongue peeks out and licks the small drop that landed on his bottom lip. James reaches over for his wand, which is lying in the grass beside them and cleans up Teddy’s face.
Teddy reaches out to tuck James back into his pants and readjust his shirt where it’s bunched up on his stomach. They stare at one another for a short while before James’s eyes widen slightly, and he reaches for Teddy’s own trousers.
“No- ” Teddy begins, hand catching James before it reaches him.
James suddenly looks hurt, and he pulls his hands back quickly. “No?”
“No need,” Teddy emphasizes the last word, hoping he has gotten his point across, though the blush now spreading over his face probably says it all. He feels unsure, ashamed.... the steadiness he felt before, now on the verge of falling to pieces.
“Oh?” James asks, and the look he gives Teddy is so full of love and affection that it actually makes Teddy’s heart physically ache. Teddy feels himself trembling yet he is no longer unsteady. James leans forward and kisses Teddy lightly, just a simple brush of lips that says so much without saying anything at all.
“It’s okay. I love you. You’re so good. It’s okay.”
Though the words are not spoken aloud, Teddy hears them loud and clear and he knows that James and himself understand each other. As Teddy leans back in, chasing the soft lips he was just kissing, a loud crash comes from inside the Burrow. In an instant they are both on their feet, hearts pounding, senses flooding back in. The real world comes crashing back around them.
They look at one another one last time, and Teddy, too busy staring into the beautiful eyes in front of him doesn’t notice James’s movement.
Five calloused fingers curl softly over his wrist, and squeeze once.
The touch disappears along with James, and Teddy stays standing out in the garden for a moment. He looks up at the sky and swears his vision is blurred with royal blue.
****
Five calloused fingertips curl softly over his wrist, and his hair suddenly turns a vibrant shade of royal blue.
Teddy is sitting at the dinner table. It’s Sunday evening and the whole clan is here. Harry at the head of the table, laughing with Ron about some ridiculous inside joke. Hermione looks on at them fondly, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips as she brushes a wispy curl out of her eyes. Her hair is tied back in a bun, but her unruly curls always have a mind of their own, never quite seeming to be tamed.
Teddy’s hair has a mind of it’s own too.Though he can change his appearance with ease, and morph into whatever he wants, his emotions have ultimate reign. Turquoise is his standard. A light green-tinged blue, like sea foam. It flashes magenta when he orgasms. Violet when he’s sated and sleepy. When he’s concentrating too hard, it turns black as night and it grows longer. When working through a file, he has to tie it back in a ponytail, else it falls in his face.
Royal blue. This one is new.
There is a thumb caressing the inside of his thin wrist. It’s tracing a vein, a vein that must lead straight to his heart. His heart his thundering in his chest. He glances around the table, but everyone seems too preoccupied to notice the crisis Teddy is suddenly having. He swears if anyone were to turn and look at him they would see sparks shooting off of him. Small blips of electricity being gently pulled from his body by a hand hidden under the table. There is a storm brewing inside of him and it is muffling out the sounds of laughter and forks clinking. All he can hear is his own breath, stuttering over his lips. He is shaking.
Teddy has been in love with James for as long as he can remember. James is everything he could ever want and nothing he should ever have. They are family. They are practically brothers. Teddy also happens to be 26. James is just barely 18.
Teddy’s eyes dart around the table. Rose and Lily are arguing, as per usual. Those two were destined to be friends, but they are actually too similar for their own good. Everything turns into a competition. They are the daughters of two strong, intelligent women. They each feel that they have a reputation to uphold, and neither is willing to fold. Hugo’s seat is empty, as he’s too busy cooking with Molly to actually interact with anyone. He’s her favorite and everyone knows it. He’s rather anti-social, but he doesn’t seem to care.
Though Harry and Ginny are no longer together, they are still great friends. Ginny seemed to know that things were not going to work out far before Harry even did. She practically broke it off for him. She’s smart, that one. Feisty too. Came out as bisexual back when the war ended. She’s been dating women ever since her and Harry ended things. They both seem happier now. Plus, for being savior of the world and all, Harry can be a real coward. It took the git like 6 months to look at Malfoy without turning a horrible shade of red. It took him a year to actually flirt with him. They’re together now, but Harry thinks no one knows about it.
Ginny is chatting with Albus and Luna. Generally Albus is quiet, moody, brooding, and chock full of teen angst. Yet, Luna seems to bring out something different in him. They are an odd contrast, the two of them. Albus with his jet black hair, always in a permanent state of bedhead. He has an earring. Just one. It’s a small dragon’s tooth. A gift from Charlie. His skin is tanned, much more than any of the other Potters. He wears black and gray. His only pop of color is the green of his Slytherin tie when he’s at Hogwarts. His eyes are a shocking shade of emerald to match. The contrast of the green against the rest of his darkness is quite striking.
Today Albus is wearing a black t-shirt, the neck is a “v” just deep enough to show a hint of the tattoo he has on his chest. Charlie took him to get it as a birthday present. Ginny laughed maniacally when she found out, reminding Harry of the time when people had spread a rumor about his very own dragon tattoo back in 6th year. Harry eventually came around. Though Ginny still loves to smack Charlie and lecture him about it whenever he’s comes for a visit. Albus wants to work with dragons, just like Charlie. Although Teddy has witnessed the special bond Albus seems to have with those creatures, Teddy is also aware that this bond is not the only motive at play here. He can read between the lines, even if others cannot.
Luna smiles and laughs at something Albus says. Her cactus plant earrings sway as she throws her head back. Ginny reaches forward to push Luna’s glasses gently back onto her face where they had fallen forward. Luna turns and kisses Ginny on the tip of her nose, causing a deep blush to spread quickly over Ginny’s heavily freckled skin. Albus actually smiles. A rare sight to see.
Teddy’s vision goes blurry as the thumb around his wrist presses more firmly into his skin. It drags down from the point where his palm connects to his arm….. down, down, down until the rough fingertip is running over a scar on his forearm. Heat flares in the pit of his stomach as the fingertip tilts upwards, the edge of a fingernail slowly following the length of his scar with perfect precision. His skin has broken out into goosebumps, a thin sheen of sweat is covering his upper lip, and his eyes flutter shut.
In an instant the fingers curl entirely around his forearm, dragging toward his wrist and squeezing once before the touch disappears altogether. Teddy’s eyes fly open, blinking quickly as they adjust once more to the warm candlelight in the dining room of the Burrow.
He hears the sound of a chair being pushed backwards, and hears a voice tell the room, “I’m feeling a little light-headed, I am going to go get some fresh air.” Teddy sees the room sort of nod, several people murmur, “Okay,” but generally no one is paying much attention.
Teddy feels unable to breathe, both hands under the table now and clutching the seat for dear life, holding onto it like a lifeline. He slowly turns his head and watches as James walks toward the back door, which is propped open with a small flower pot. As Teddy stares, James turns around, eyes full of fire as he walks backwards out the door and into the moonlit night.
Teddy takes a steadying breath, counts to 10, and then gets shakily to his feet. He stutters out something about, “Need to use the loo,” and exits the room. Luna is the only one who notices, and her eyes do not miss the electric blue hair that Teddy is now sporting. She smiles as Teddy walks away, but says nothing.
Teddy’s brain is too foggy to realize that he didn’t even try to hide where he was actually going. Rather than carry him to the staircase and towards the bathroom, his feet are making their way in the exact opposite direction, following the same path James took just moments ago. As Teddy approaches the doorway, the night sky comes into view. The moon is bright and nearly full, and the stars are twinkling at him. His bare feet step out onto the cold, plush grass outside. Teddy turns and sees him leaning with his back against the side of the house. Teddy stops breathing.
James looks beautiful. He is long lines and lean muscle. His arms are crossed over his chest in a way that makes him look even more fit than he already is. He is effortless. He is a white t-shirt and jeans that hang low on his hips. His eyelashes are long and resting delicately on his face, where his eyes are shut. His head is tilted back, his throat exposed. His skin is lighter than his brothers, but more freckled. He has moles and freckles scattered like confetti over his cheeks, his neck, and spilling under his shirt. He is so different than Albus. Where Albus is harsh lines and darkness, James is softened edges and warmth.
Teddy walks toward him as if he is in a trance. The want he feels is dizzying. He’s grown hard just from watching James. James does not open his eyes until Teddy is standing right in front of him. Though Teddy is taller, older…. He feels small and secure when he is around James in a way that he cannot put into words. James looks up, and his usually hazel eyes are darkened with what looks like lust. It takes Teddy’s breath away. This feels like a dream, and he hopes that he never wakes up.
Without words, something unspoken passes between them. Suddenly Teddy seems to realize that he is not the only one who’s been wanting this for years. Teddy swallows hard around the lump in his throat, wets his chapped lips, and drops slowly to his knees. Teddy feels naked and exposed, although he is fully dressed save for his bare feet. As his knees touch down into the grass below him, he suddenly cannot bring himself to look up. He keeps his eyes trained on James’ own feet, which are covered in shoes. Without a reason that Teddy could ever express, his vision is blurring with tears.
The same rough fingertips which had encircled his wrist like a ring of fire are gently lifting his trembling chin now, forcing Teddy’s face up towards James.
“Teddy…. Look at me.”
Teddy’s blue eyes meet the hazel ones above him, and suddenly the tears stop. “J-James….” Teddy croaks out, his voice broken and small.
“It’s okay, Teddy. It’s okay.”
These words circle Teddy in a hug, soothing every doubt, every worry bubbling up to the surface. He feels calm and safe kneeling in the grass in front of James. Every drag of James’s fingertip back and forth over the skin of his cheek feels like a repetition of the phrase he’s been needing to hear for years, “It’s okay...It’s okay.”
Teddy finally feels like he can breathe and a single tear escapes his eyes as he looks up at James. James catches the tear on his fingertip and swipes it off Teddy’s cheek, wiping away much of the guilt and uncertainty with it. James’s hands fall from Teddy’s face as Teddy sits up a little taller. He looks up into those dark eyes one final time, before reaching out for the button on James’s jeans. As he pops it open and pulls the zipper down, those usually quiet sounds echo loudly in both of their ears. The quiet evening broken by the sound of Teddy pulling down a pair of trousers, exposing James to the cool night air.
Teddy takes James carefully into his mouth, and suddenly James’s lips part in a soft “o,” his breath hitching and his fingertips fluttering where they rest at his sides. Teddy bobs his head, his tongue dancing around James’s cock and sending licks of fire up James’s spine. James is making soft sounds, sounding like he has run out of air as Teddy’s warm mouth envelops James in a velvety heat. Teddy feels drunk on James, on this moment. Although Teddy is not the one being pleasured, he is seeing stars. The stars are royal blue.
Teddy can hear the breathing above him becoming more ragged, can see the stomach muscles tensing where the soft white t-shirt has ridden up. He pulls off with a small pop, and glances around. He takes in the hands clenched into fists, the flushed cheeks, and the hair slightly tousled from the way that James has been arching his back against the wall. Teddy looks up and everything about this moment feels so right.
Teddy closes his eyes, trying desperately to savour the sensations. He focuses on the way his knees in the grass make him feel so grounded and yet so light like he’s floating without a worry to hold him down, the way the cool breeze caressing the bare skin of his feet and arms feels like a promise of more to come, the way James feels in his mouth, the way his heart swells just knowing that he is making James feel good, that sensation deep in the pit of his stomach like a rope being pulled when Teddy realizes that for once, he is not disappointing someone.
As Teddy is slipping away, drowning in the crashing waves of emotion and pleasure, James is right there, grounding him once more. He hears a whisper from above him as hands reach out to card through his hair, “You’re so good, Teddy. So good for me.”
Teddy keens. Those simple words unlocking corridors to places he never knew existed. He didn’t realize that something was missing until now. As the hands continue to run lovingly through his hair, Teddy opens his heavy eyelids and lets his eyes trail over James’ face. He doesn’t know how James knows that this is what he needs. Teddy’s lips part, so many words caught in his throat: thank you’s, apologies, sonnets. The words will not come. Teddy looks up, his eyes imploring James to understand, before he leans forward and gently kisses the head of James’s hard cock.
James comes in an instant. As his head is thrown back, he misses the flash of magenta in front of him. James sighs and drops softly to his own knees, staring at the come decorating Teddy’s face. Teddy’s tongue peeks out and licks the small drop that landed on his bottom lip. James reaches over for his wand, which is lying in the grass beside them and cleans up Teddy’s face.
Teddy reaches out to tuck James back into his pants and readjust his shirt where it’s bunched up on his stomach. They stare at one another for a short while before James’s eyes widen slightly, and he reaches for Teddy’s own trousers.
“No- ” Teddy begins, hand catching James before it reaches him.
James suddenly looks hurt, and he pulls his hands back quickly. “No?”
“No need,” Teddy emphasizes the last word, hoping he has gotten his point across, though the blush now spreading over his face probably says it all. He feels unsure, ashamed.... the steadiness he felt before, now on the verge of falling to pieces.
“Oh?” James asks, and the look he gives Teddy is so full of love and affection that it actually makes Teddy’s heart physically ache. Teddy feels himself trembling yet he is no longer unsteady. James leans forward and kisses Teddy lightly, just a simple brush of lips that says so much without saying anything at all.
“It’s okay. I love you. You’re so good. It’s okay.”
Though the words are not spoken aloud, Teddy hears them loud and clear and he knows that James and himself understand each other. As Teddy leans back in, chasing the soft lips he was just kissing, a loud crash comes from inside the Burrow. In an instant they are both on their feet, hearts pounding, senses flooding back in. The real world comes crashing back around them.
They look at one another one last time, and Teddy, too busy staring into the beautiful eyes in front of him doesn’t notice James’s movement.
Five calloused fingers curl softly over his wrist, and squeeze once.
The touch disappears along with James, and Teddy stays standing out in the garden for a moment. He looks up at the sky and swears his vision is blurred with royal blue.
****